amtrak-official

The Fae all want to steal my name because they know if they can get their hands on my name, they will have exclusive control over the US railway infrastructure

amtrak-official

Also because a lot of the Fae are lesbian dykes and they want to ride the trains for free like all of us do and seem to think that owning the name amtrak will get them free tickets

amtrak-official

The gnomes just want to kill me for insulting the gnome council in 1873 and accidentally running track through the secret gnome grove when we were improving speeds in New Jersey

the-gnomish-bastard

We’re coming for you

amtrak-official

Even if you kill me, I’m not going to apologize to the gnome council, the gnome councilman did have a bad beard and his outfit was NOT WHIMSICAL