They just don't have elaborate murders on the train anymore, it's fucking tragic
But where will I find an eccentric gay detective with a thick accent for me to have battle of wits with???
massachusetts
Shame New Englanders don’t have an interesting enough accent to be good detectives
sleep-being-shy asked:
What happens if I bite people on the Amtrak Airo?
They get bitten?
Anonymous asked:
amtrak, I rode the train the other day; it was nice! although, I didn't see any lesbians :(
They were there, it’s hard to spot then sometimes though
Anonymous asked:
you seem like a cocky, pretentious asshole
I am pretentious and can be an asshole, but I don’t find myself very cocky
Resume
Why won’t you just let me eat obscure bird eggs on the train
Anonymous asked:
Amtrak I have to get my drivers license soon can I have a word of encouragement so I just get it and then always take the train
You might need it so you can drive to the train station
Political Assassinations are passe, I want to see people assassinating the HOA president instead, assuming violence is necessary
Face Reveal
You know what really ruins my day
If Tumblr is making bad business decisions let me try my hand at some,
FROM NOW ON ALL TRAINS WILL BE FILLED WITH HORNETS
But, if you pay us 5.83 a month, we’ll put you in a special train car without any hornets
