If Tumblr is making bad business decisions let me try my hand at some,
FROM NOW ON ALL TRAINS WILL BE FILLED WITH HORNETS
But, if you pay us 5.83 a month, we'll put you in a special train car without any hornets
It's for your own good, we need more money to keep running these trains after all and you like not being stung by hornets so we both benefit really
We are very smart and can be trusted with your money
Fucking Cowards
Why won’t you just let me eat obscure bird eggs on the train
I am so fucking annoyed, I accidentally lost the progress on my list of advocacy groups
Anonymous asked:
amtrak nsfw blog?
No
They just don’t have elaborate murders on the train anymore, it’s fucking tragic
I am now a proud defender of Minneapolis and will no longer refer to it as St.Paul-Minneapolis
Do not trust me on this
“You couldn’t waterboard this out of me”
Skill issue, you could get it out of me, WITHOUT waterboarding, I’m a talkative bitch who can’t keep a secret for the life of him
Am I a niche internet micro celebrity now??
Interviewing George Bush,
“How the fuck do you sleep at night after all you have done, don’t you just wish that you could get hit by a train and stop having to worry about the consequences of your actions?”
I press a button on a remote
“Well great news, we redirected a train directly towards your house, it’s coming for you <3, now stay still you fucking bastard”
