em0-snail asked:
Are you anti trainfucking or something??
I am incredibly anti trainfucking. Me saying that is like the 3rd most common post on here, My hatred of train fucking is only beaten by my love of Lesbianism and Chicago
Paging @amtrak-official ...
Stop trying to fuck our trains
My first reaction was to point out how weird it is that @amtrak-official has to keep chasing train fuckers off their porch like a meemaw with a broom and a squirrel problem, but then I remembered this is the Horny On Main site, and it's a sign of a healthy ecosystem around here.
They ... just won't stop coming
They would if you'd let them fuck the trains.
No, I am not letting a single train fucker into a single right of way, rail yard or station in my sustem
So couples and polycules are okay, I think we can live with that. C’mon, babes, we’ve got some trains to fuck.
Nope, you are not allowed to cheat on your partner with one of my trains either
What if you're fucking a train WITH your partner
No, no matter how you frame it, you are not going to get to Fuck the Trains
What if the trains literally ask for it?
They won't
This is what happens when youre the 4th most fuckable government agency lmao
I would be number 1 if the reporter wasn't so biased
I'm asexual. am i allowed to kiss the trains
Do you want to be run over?
No, but what if I wait until they're stopped?
You get shot by the Conductors
if your country has or could have commuter trains would you take a train to a destination cooly without thinking much of it OR would you play it a little coy whenever the train shows up to the platform and flashes open its sexy little doors at you yearning for your attention for you to fall into its mouth but you look away seemingly uninterested and as it closes its doors defeated and leaves the station and you catch a glimpse of all the seats and handles and even tables in some compartments and as it pulls away you allow yourself to shudder with pleasure at the sound of the engine and you think about what it would be like to get consumed by this megafaunal steel block so you show up to the station day after day never quite getting onto the train but giving it just enough teasing to build the tension between you and this 500 ton beast of steel and plastic and you want to be trapped like a little fly inside its maw and explore its teeth and throat and trachea and into its stomach and feel yourself dissolve into the walls and become one with it but that can't happen just yet maybe it can never happen and it certainly cant be of your own volition to step in and get swallowed because whats important to you is that the chase never ends whats important is that it can never catch you or else the fun is over it can never stuff you into its jaws because its locked into a destiny of eternal edging unless you give it release and you stand at its precipice with its teeth and tongue and lips slick with oily salivation but you never quite fall no matter how much the poor trapped train flaps its stupid pathetic flimsy doors and coaxes you with the desperate voice inside the cabin announcing arrivals and departures no what really gets you off is the cruelty of it all the way you can burden it with human desires far beyond its own capacity to form them the way you can transform its dutiful burden of carrying passengers to and fro into a frustrating hateful drive of pleasure and you hope that one day it'll slide off its steel guides and finally squish you like the bug you are like a little defenseless prey-thing so naughty for having teased it for so long you want utter annihilation at the hands of a great big nasty oily puffing charging engine with no care for its own life just solely wholly focused on getting you in, on, or around it and you want to make sure both you and the train become so twisted by the chase that the pleasure awaiting you at the destination can no longer be distinguished from the pain of the journey and the hedonism just keeps adapting to baser and baser wishes until sex and death are a singular simultaneous yearning? which one would you pick
I was tagged in this and it is probably a good sentiment, but it is so fucking dense I can't fucking read it for Christ's sake.
Anyways, trains are a naturally sensual experience, (usually not this much) but still so I guess the second one
Wait are you trying to fuck the train!? How many times do I have to say this?? STOP FUCKING THE TRAINS!!!
Anonymous asked:
hey if you are a ferret at least you’re cute
amtrak-official answered:
Are you saying I’m not already cute?
@johnbrownanarchist if I had a nickel for everything somebody tried to fuck a goddamn train.
I think CNN was referring to my employees being sexy not the trains
Anonymous asked:
Garbage men is a gender neutral term in my eyes, seeing as all people who collect garbage for a living have the same general vibe regardless of gender, I love the big sexy garbage women with beards and tattoos too
You are an Enlightened soul anon, still don’t respect any of you train fuckers though
Anonymous asked:
I mean trains going through a tunnel is an innuendo
So is “dump truck” but nobody is trying to fuck the garbage collection truck every week
Anonymous asked:
hey if you are a ferret at least you’re cute
amtrak-official answered:
Are you saying I’m not already cute?
@johnbrownanarchist if I had a nickel for everything somebody tried to fuck a goddamn train.
Anonymous asked:
Which Amtrak route is best for gay sex?
Empire Builder, it’s long so you have time for sex, has sleeper cars, good scenery, and ends in Seattle which has something every gay can appreciate: quality restoration projects on formerly industrial rivers
Anonymous asked:
"When are we getting Cascadia High speed rail"
Yeah speed rail ME please
The only sections of High speed rail in the Amtrak system are in the Northeast Corridor between DC and New York and then most of New Haven to Boston
